There's nothing like a major - and much anticipated and therefore incredibly
laggy - event in Second Life, to absolutely polarise opinions and cause the
blogs to groan under the strain of opposing viewpoints, heated arguments and
indignant rebuttals. The topic of which is, naturellement, What Really
Causes Lag?
I speak of course, of Hair Fair 2008. The excitement has been building, the
sneak previews escalating, hints, gossip, scandal and even a rumoured
bust-up between two of the major players, have kept us all entertained and
excited, not to mention the sheer thrill of hoping that we're going to find
the hair we've long been looking for. And this column is not here to discuss
whether or not I - or anyone else - actually found what they were looking
for.
I too was once guilty of bling-crimes against humanity and learnt the hard
way that things that attach to my person offend, dazzle, or slow down the
avatars in my immediate vicinity. I have spent much time metaphorically
beating my breast and crying out "mea culpa" in an attempt to atone for
ruining anyone else's experience at some point in the past, so it was
wearing the grand total of 5 prims on my Avatar Rendering Cost display that
I ventured off to Hair Fair 2008.
My deepest thanks to skin designers intelligent enough to offer at least one
version of a skin with 'built in hair', for life's little laggy moments, and
I decided after I arrived that I didn't need my shoes anyway, so I took
those off too, getting my total down to 1 prim. Additional kudos are awarded
to skin designers who manage to make feet look roughly attractive in SL, a
not inconsiderable challenge.
I then spent the next couple of hours wading around in glue, waiting for
things to rezz and thoroughly enjoying myself. I hear you ask how this could
be possible - the enjoyment bit, I mean - and I am delighted to share with
you all my new latest game on laggy sims... Who is the avatar with the
single greatest number on the prim count? Hours of amusement can be derived
from this activity, but there is a side effect. The side effect is
uncontrollable rage and a desire to beat the offending avatar(s) to death
with a stiletto, assuming that a shoe could actually be rezzed for the
purpose.
Now, there is a school of thought - which may be 100% correct for all I know
- that says that it doesn't matter what the avatar rendering cost is, the
server controls the lag. As I say, this could well be true.
However, there's a perception that optional appendanges, bling, and flexi
hair slow the whole thing down, and most of us accept that and do our very
best to keep it to a minimum. This is called Common Courtesy, though it
doesn't seem to be very common. The organisers of Hair Fair 2008 dropped a
polite and beautifully worded notecard on each of us on arrival, asking for
us to cut those prims to a minimum. Thus my removal of the last 4 prims on
my feet. (Another great game is watching the prim counts drop as people
arrive. I thoroughly recommend it whilst you're waiting for things to rezz.)
So, we all ASSUME that stuff causes lag. We've been asked to remove anything
unnecessary in the nicest possible way, and the vast majority of SL'ers are
delighted to comply. In fact, a number of bloggers offered the How Low Can
You Go challenge which is yet another fun activity as you mix and match,
aiming to look as sophisticated as possibly whilst bald and mostly naked. I
really enjoyed that activity, too, my thanks for so much fun go to those who
put the challenge out there. However - and this is where the uncontrollable
rage comes into it for me - the number of people who just don't care, aren't
interested in anyone else's experience, who SO need to be beautiful
(presumably based on the assumption everyone is actually looking at them) at
all costs, and who then become rude, aggressive and abusive when anyone asks
them to reduce their count, is absolutely astounding. I cannot believe that
avatars with this level of arrogance, ignorance, and sheer bloody-mindedness
can possibly fare well in a world where everyone is trying to recreate their
own version of utopia, though I suppose the side effect of that is that if
we start behaving like them and telling them what morons they actually are,
we're no better than they are, really. I was striving hard for a zen moment at the time, though.
Time that some incredibly clever scripter comes up with an automatic banning
mechanism that throws you out if you exceed a clearly defined, pre (and
politely worded) warning notice, and then allows you back if you comply, at
major events. (Yes, yes, I know that Linden Labs are to blame for everything
in the history of anyone's bad experience ever in Second Life, and its all
their fault and they should fix it immediately but lets not get our
ambitions and our capabilities mixed up here, shall we?)
Whilst 'policing' and 'prims' don't feel quite right in a sentence in Second
Life to me, it may be time. And lest you think I'm arguing over a couple of
hundred prims let me reassure you that I'm really not that picky but......
the winner of the gold medal in my two hour experience at the Hair Fair came
in at a rendering cost of 8057 prims. And all of it tacky. Please, please do
NOT come back next year. Or preferably at all. It'll be SO much nicer without you.
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